There are times when I feel so exhilarated and then suddenly gasp for air when my mood drops like a stone falling from the sky. Is this bipolar disorder? No, no, not that bad. But when under stress and terrible mood, now I know what to do. I just have to shut myself out from the din of the world, and find solace and comfort in my solitary space. Then I would get out of my body and mind, seeing myself from my soul, and feeling that immense Power of Love reflect on my experience. I would say some incantation, usually the word ‘Jesus’ a lot of times. Then logic takes over, . . . then that light, glimmering first, flickering at times, but unmistakably growing brighter and brighter. Then a few deep breaths, . . . then understanding, . . . then peace . . . .
Jesus Christ . . . I know you have always been with me ALL the time, not even a fraction of second missing my heartbeat.
Tonight is a sleepless night, but I worry much less. Tomorrow is another mentoring session, probably the last for this year. Then a long holiday will set me apart from my mentees. I hope everything goes lovingly, and I do look forward to seeing them again sometime in February 2011 when the new semester begins.
A long uphill battle, sometimes I am so high in the sky, sometimes diving helplessly onto the ground, but now I worry much less for I know the Force is always with me . . . .