Can You Delete Someone from Your Life?

Posted on August 15, 2010

5


“Can you delete someone from your life, Sir?”

I was taken aback by that question. Looking up from my paper, I met her eyes: a blend of confusion and a tinge of frustration.

“Oh, . . why are you asking?” I queried. “All of a sudden, you showed up at my door asking that. Something wrong?

She sighed. “Well . . . may be. Y’know, I broke up with him last month, and . . “

“And you want to delete him from your life?”

She smiled. Wryly. “Yeah, . . . desperately, but I just realized I just can’t. I keep thinking about him.”

I shrugged. Another broken love story. Well, not something that would appeal to me at this age, in this circumstance.

“Sir, you are a man, too,” she said. “Tell me, is it that easy for a man to delete a woman he once loved off his life?”

I stopped reading my paper. Tilting my head slightly, frowning a little, but I kept quiet.

“Is it, Sir??” she prodded, obviously getting a little exasperated. “We had a really rocky relationship. We got into argument at least once every week. But we got over it, thinking that our love would overcome every difference between us. Basically we loved each other a lot, it’s just that our strong ego sometimes got in the way and screwed up everything that would otherwise have been very romantic moments.”

“So,” I said, a little reluctantly. “There was the problem which made you break up. Now, shouldn’t that make it a lot easier for you to delete him from your life?”

She stared at me in disbelief.

“Why, you really don’t know the mind of a woman,” she sounded a little offended.

“What?”

“I still have strong feeling for him, Sir. It’s not that easy just to walk away from him just like that, after all those bittersweet relationship.”

“Uh-oh, here you go again,” I thought.

“Ok, fine, I admit: I can’t delete him from my life despite this break-up,” she conceded. “But tell me, is it equally hard for him to delete me from his life?”

I threw the paper in my hands to the desk and drew a deep breath. “What makes you think he has deleted you from your life?”

She raised her hand, showing her cell phone, shaking it a bit. “He never contacts me again,” she said. “Yesterday was my birthday, and at least I expect a simple birthday wish from him. But nothing . . . “

I gazed at her.

“No sms, no e-mail, no simple greeting on my FB wall or my Twitter. I dropped by his Wall and blog to see what he’s been up to. He made new friends, traveled to some places, did this and that, it’s as if he had successfully deleted me from his life. No sign at all that he is moody or grieving over our break up.”

I was quiet.

“Oh, come on!” she said, now apparently upset over my cold reaction. “You haven’t answered my question! Has he deleted me from his life? Is that so easy?”

I fixed my eyes on hers. “Look,” I said. “He is human. He’s got fine brain and memory. It is just impossible for a human to delete sweet memories he once shared with a lover. Of course he remembers you, maybe even thinking about you a few times throughout his days.”

“But how come he seems fine while I am still struggling here trying to get over the break up?” she asked.

“Well, I don’t know,” I answered. “His heart may still keep the same feeling as yours, but his mind tells a different thing: that may be you both are never meant to be.”

She fell silent.

“. . . and so he decides to go on with his life, without you,” I continued softly, knowing that it’d be hard for her to confront that reality.

She drew a long, deep breath. The room was suddenly hushed by silence.

“Ok,. . .” finally came her weak voice. “Maybe it’s not meant to be. It’s just . . . wondering how easy it is to delete me from his life, while I’m here still tending bruises and having hard time putting him past my life.”

I looked at her and realized there was nothing more I needed to say. . . .

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